all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
