Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
