Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
God, I missed his penis.
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