why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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