We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
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