your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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