this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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