Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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