I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize
