You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
