Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
