Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So I figured out why that guy from Tinder stopped messaging me back. He got married.
Randomize
