In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
