That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
The closest I'll come to committing is leaving sex toys at their house
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
