I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
