Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
