You smell like stripper and shame
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
