I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have so many feelings about this burrito
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
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