just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
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