Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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