wanna go halves on a baby?
I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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