but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
