its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
