Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
My cab driver just started a conversation with "Three years ago I pleaded guilty..." Check on me later tonight please.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize