I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
