I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
Randomize
