I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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