Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
