so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
