I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
Randomize
