Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Randomize
