This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
If you put those two in a room together it'd be like a Taylor Swift fantasy and an Adele nightmare just licking faces
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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