and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
