I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Sorry my hands just texted you
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
