ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
