I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
I intend to get homeless drunk
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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