Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
These bubbles make my penis feel like it is resting on clouds.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
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