so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
Randomize
