a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
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