He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
