He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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