You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
So here I am, sexting at work.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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