WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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