What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
Randomize
