I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
