The maid of honor just puked.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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