I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
