I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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