Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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