you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
smell my finger.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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