i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
Randomize
