Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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