dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
