I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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